Jackie Raha, former manager of
group service development for Weight Watchers International, says you
can't motivate someone else to lose weight. No matter how much your
friend's weight affects his health, job or relationships, long-lasting
weight loss comes from personal, internal motivation. You can offer
encouragement when he decides to lose the weight for himself by being
what you already are: a caring friend.
Step 1
Ask your friend how she'd like
to be encouraged. She may want a cheerleader to celebrate with her when
she drops those first 5 lbs. She may just want you to hold her
accountable by looking over her food choices each day, or perhaps she
just wants a walking buddy or workout partner. Your friend is the expert
at what she needs.
Jackie Raha, former manager of
group service development for Weight Watchers International, says you
can't motivate someone else to lose weight. No matter how much your
friend's weight affects his health, job or relationships, long-lasting
weight loss comes from personal, internal motivation. You can offer
encouragement when he decides to lose the weight for himself by being
what you already are: a caring friend.
Step 2
Lead by example without being
"holier than thou." If the two of you eat together, choosing a
lower-calorie option can enable your friend to make better choices. If
you order the double burger with fries and a shake, it might be harder
for your friend to order the salad with dressing on the side. If your
friend decides to order the double burger, you could opt for a single
burger with no cheese and ask your server to add extra lettuce and
tomato. Offer to split a dessert if he really wants something sweet --
then savor every bite.
Step 3
Invite your friend to make
better choices by asking her to walk or attend a fitness class with you.
Dr. Mehmet Oz says working out together helps prevent loneliness and
builds accountability. Start out by exercising for 30 minutes a day,
three days a week, and build from there. The Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention recommends adults get at least two hours and 30 minutes
of moderate aerobic activity each week.
Step 4
Encourage every good behavior
and overlook bad ones. Listen to what causes your friend to overeat and
offer kindness rather than criticism. Offer kudos for every exercise
attempted, every calorie avoided and every healthy choice made.
Tips and Warnings
- Try not to reward good behavior with bad. Offering to go out for ice cream after a workout could just end up reinforcing the idea that the only good things in life are edible.
- Refrain from shaming. Shame is a poor motivator since it can keep a person from attempting a goal for fear of failure. If your friend orders the double burger with extra cheese, making a face or lecturing about the number of calories in each patty could backfire by triggering feelings of shame and powerlessness. The goal of encouragement is empowerment. Avoid competition. Starting a "Biggest Loser" contest could lead to unhealthy attempts at weight loss and cause the "smallest loser" to feel like a failure, which could lead to an eating binge.
References
- ABC News; What Are Some Things I Can Do To Help My Friend Or Family Member Lose Weight?; Martin Binks; 2009
- Dr. Oz: The Buddy Weight Loss Plan
- Weight Watchers; Help Your Partner Lose Weight; Melissa Sperl
- Cambridge Judge Business School; The Negative Side of Emotion - The Role of Shame; P. Stiles; 2008
- Center for Disease Control and Prevention: Physical Activity for Everyone: Guidelines: Adults